Posted by daisym on May 29, 2005, at 22:57:55
In reply to Re: Chapter 3.The Therapist's Power, posted by pegasus on May 29, 2005, at 21:08:57
I think Peg is right -- the power imbalance is as much in the client's head as in the therapist's head. Lott talks about Robert Langs' writings about the first contact with the Patient in which Langs speaks of making a mental note that attributes mental health issues to wanting to understand the fee structure. Aren't we all worried about that at one time or another? We've spoken often here about needing the RULE BOOK. No one wants to present themselves in a way that could be misread, we don't want to ask questions we aren't "supposed to" and I think many of us identify with Lott when she talks about wanting to be "good patients". I think a lot of this stems from the media portrayal of therapy where every little thing is attributed to unconscious motivation. I don't think there are too many of us in therapy who trust that we aren't being driven by some unclear agenda. And I think we think that our therapists have the power to SEE what we can't see -- these unconscious motives. This gives them tons of power. It is intimidating to feel like you don't know your own mind. This chapter helped me understand why I can be so assertive in most of my life and yet not be able to bring this trait into therapy.
The thing that really resonated with me was where she said that to engage in the process a woman must rely on her therapist to "watch the store." That way as clients we can push and pull and demand and step back and know that we are still safe and that the boundaries are still firm. I don't think you can do the work and hold the boundaries for your therapist simulanteously. It reminded me of the way that my therapist often tells me he will "hold down the fort" as I try to figure stuff out or I need to pull away for awhile.
Her closing paragraph that matches some therapy relationships to dysfunctional families brings home yet again the value of Babble. She says "what may empower women clients most may be sharing their therapy stories with each other." I'm so glad we are all doing cutting-edge work!
poster:daisym
thread:491935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/505034.html