Posted by B2chica on May 5, 2005, at 11:27:26
ok, therapy's been going very well (i think). i see him 3x week. some days it feel like too often, other days not enough.
the thing is, there's something that i've remembered that happened when i was very young. it's been haunting me. i think i need to just get it out there but i'm scared.
i've never even said it outloud to myself. i'm afraid that once it's 'out there' and someone else knows...that it will just make things unliveable.
i wish it wasn't there. the thing is i feel like i brought it on. i feel like a dumb stupid @#$, why did i let it happen, why didn't i stop it, and why do i really need to say it.i still can't even say it here, how can i say it in session?
Poet. where are you.
how did you say what you needed to say in your sessions? did your T pull it out of you or did you just 'say it'.
how do you start. and there are SO many 'instances' surrounding it i feel like once it comes i could talk for a whole day...what if i need to. what if it coming out makes me suicidal???
what if i want to take it back and pretend no one knows, if no one knows maybe it didn't happen.
help
b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:494086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/494086.html