Posted by Shortelise on May 3, 2005, at 11:38:14
It's been two weeks since I last saw my T, and it will be 24 days until I see him again (but who's counting) and I am definitely in the "out of sight out of mind".
Night before last I had a wonderful dream about living in an apartment building, a bit like the one I used to live in in this city, but also like the one I lived in in Europe. I knew everyonein the building, we all liked each other, it was a nice community, and I was so HAPPY. Heart full, dancing feet, light headed HAPPY in this dream. I felt 20 years old. It was great.
But back to the T, termination, titration, etc., I feel ok about it. If I talk about it, I want to cry, so I don't talk about it. And I think after I see him the next time I'll be really sad again.
Maybe what I fear the most is that last goodbye. I think I'll have to cancel that appointment. Yup, there are the tears starting.
And I still need to understand what he meant that things will be different if I have to go back to see him. I am afraid he means he'll no longer be my safe place. That really makes the tears come.
Enough of this.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:493107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/493107.html