Posted by Shortelise on April 29, 2005, at 0:08:31
In reply to Tormenting myself... (longish), posted by Tamar on April 28, 2005, at 16:20:40
I am still angry at my T for a time that I had a horrendous dream about breast feeding a monster so I called him. It was such an awful dream, such a terrible nightmare. I waited all day for him to call me and he called me late in the evening to tell me that he just didn't have time to talk with me, and to ask me why I'd called. I said I'd had an horrible disturbing dream, and he said, something that was so ... unconnected, like maybe he thought I'd had a sexual dream about him. It made me so angry that I never did disabuse him of the idea, never spoke to him of the dream again. I've had some nightmares in my life but that one was bad, and it was smack in the middle of a heavy phase of therapy, and I so needed to talk it through.
Anyway, back to you, and hoping that my little story there applies in SOME way! Tamar, what I sometimes forget is that my *reaction* to what I perceive or imagine about my T is important. In your boots, I'd ask myself why I was not able to talk about what I perceived to be his reaction. Was it real or imagined? I'd want to think about it from all angles.
What was is about your feelings for him that you were afraid to talk about? His reaction? HIS reaction?
Hope this is ok, Tamar.
You could try to make this more a subject of interest and less a subject of torment, if you thought it might help. It might be easier if it's possible for you.
Hugs, T.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:491040
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050428/msgs/491273.html