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Your MAKE yourself! Poet

Posted by daisym on April 20, 2005, at 1:51:12

In reply to T gave a writing assignment, how do I hand it in?, posted by Poet on April 19, 2005, at 20:17:55

Poet,

I've been a writer since I was a really little kid. There is a need to be honest on paper about my feelings and now, about the stories that need to be told. But it was hard for me at first, because the words on paper made it so much more real. I bet I spent a lot of the first 9 months of therapy saying, "well, in my journal, I said..." But when I finally told him about the csa, he very much used the fact that I journal to gently open things up and give a voice to all parts of me. I don't know if you remember, I used to post my writing assignments. Some of them were sort of illy or fun, others more serious. But it helped me get used to sharing my writings. Now, whenever I'm stuck or really having a hard time telling him something, he reminds me to write.

He likes me to read it to him. I told him it felt like cheating, that I should "just" tell him whatever was in the writings. But he notes that I am very honest in my writings and he likes to hear from those parts of me too. And we have great discussions about small things that I've written down, word choice or even smart alex remarks. Reading used to be hard, sometimes it still is. But I like to read it with him because I'm sometimes surprised at what I've written.

We are now using writing assignments to stay connected. If I'm up in the middle of the night, he wants me to write to him...he wants me to note how old I feel and then let that part tell him what she feels and what she wishes, particularly if she is sad and needing him. So I have started doing this. I don't always take it to him, but it helps me catalog all these confusing feelings.

You can do this, Poet. It is a small way to trust her a little more and a little more. She will hold you and your stories safely. It will take courage, but I know you can do it.
Hugs from me,
Daisy

 

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