Posted by Tamar on April 12, 2005, at 10:01:40
In reply to Re: Difficult decision - Tamar » Tamar, posted by Shortelise on April 11, 2005, at 18:12:28
> Well, there you go - close to termination as I am (ok, I'm not as close as my T would like to think I am - I am going to titrate!!) I was on the money about you, was I? It's so funny, really, I'm laughing - at myself of course!- because I get it entirely, feel it to the bottom of my feet. Let's see, hmm... I'm all better now, but, gosh, I do have this funny little itch over here that just might be a CRISIS! Yes indeedy, gotta watch out for those sneaking crises, those that weren't there a minute ago.
Yep. I hate those sneaky crises!
> Tamar, yesterday I had a situation in a shop which five years ago would have sent me into a nervous breakdown, but I handled it with aplomb, and walked away with both me and the other guy smiling. It's a huge breakthrough for me. I can do this now, deal with touchy situations. But it made me cry like crazy today when I told my husband about it. It's not that I want to stay in that lousy place where I was, and it's really not that I want to sit on my T's lap for the rest of my life, either. I'm not sure why it made me so sad.
Congratulations on your breakthrough. I can understand that you felt emotional about it afterwards. Every breakthrough costs a lot of emotion. As for sitting on T's lap... I don't think I want to sit on his lap exactly, because I'm pretty heavy and he's quite slim, but I'd kind of like to sit on the floor between his knees every now and then! But yes, it does feel sad to recognise we don't need them as much.
> I think when I am in your shoes, when I've finally seen my T for the last time (when I am very old, and my hair is grey and down to my knees) if I have stuff like this come up for me, I will call him. I will say, I think this is coming up for this reason, but I wanted to run it by you because it's so sneaky, and if I am getting this sneaky about wanting to talk to you, I thought I should just give you a call so I don't have to resort to unconscious sneakiness. I would want to be able to think, ah, I need to make sure he's till there, and call him and say, hey, I just needed to make sure you're still there (tears filling my eyes).
Yeah. I know just what you mean. Do you think you can talk about that with your T? I know some of them seem to prefer no contact after termination, but sometimes just knowing they're still there would be enormously helpful. Mine's more of a no-contact guy (sob sob). But I know I can see him again if I get genuinely unwell again, so that's something at least.
> I do agree that breathing space is probably a good idea. Therapy does keep things in upheaval, and it's not a great thing to get comfortable with, if you know what I mean.
>
> Good luck with this. It is so so helpful to hear about these trials and tribulations. Thanks.
>Thanks for your good wishes and good advice. It means a lot to me.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:482545
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/483239.html