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Re: Internalizing messadivoce

Posted by pinkeye on April 4, 2005, at 16:51:40

In reply to Re: Internalizing Dinah, posted by messadivoce on April 2, 2005, at 20:08:25

It is not just you and Dinah. I am there too. And I think almost all the clients who enter into therapy somehow wish that the therapist would be there for them for their lifetime.. And it sucks to realize that it is a time bound relationship. I am in the same boat as you are, trying to keep in touch with my ex T, and him not allowing it.. or atleast not encouraging it. And it really is a bad state to be in. It hurts to know that the person who you thought cared the most about you and was there all the time, simply is not there anymore. It doesn't make sense in a logical world, and I wonder how people survive therapy and move on once they get attached to their therapists. I am afraid there really is no answer to this issue. Every day I still wish that I would receive a warm and caring email from my old T - and of course it never happens. Sometimes I am angry, sometimes I am very frustrated, sometimes I just wish I were wise enough in the first place to see it for what it was - jsut a therapeutic relationship and not got confused into mistaking it for a personal one.. that I had the wisdom to be indifferent like how my Ts are. And sometiems I am angry - angry at myself for getting into this trap and thinking how the hell did I not understand the nature of it in the first place..

But at the end, there is just no answer to any of it, and it hurts a lot.. and I don't know what to say to console you. As people say, maybe time will heal it.. I wonder though if ever I will be able to get over what it feels like right now to lose a person who seemed to care about you abruptly like that and not have any contact. It just doesn't make any sense, yet, that is what therapists do all the time. And I don't know why it is designed that way.

Sorry, I am just rambling, and not being of any help to you, but maybe you can take comfort knowing other people are like as you are..




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