Posted by Aphrodite on March 16, 2005, at 15:11:35
In reply to When therapy is harmful (long), posted by Aphrodite on March 13, 2005, at 10:30:02
It's a really, REALLY bad time. So many triggers, memories, flashbacks. I feel like I've been emotionally pummeled. I'm physically sick; I had to stop several times on the way home to vomit. I have a migraine that won't go away. And the tears, oh the tears, I didn't know I had so many.
Many people in my hometown remembered me at the funeral. They all commented on how well I've grown up . . . you know, considering. Oh, that was fun to hear -- so everyone knew and no one did anything.
What does a nervous breakdown look like? I wonder if I'm having one. My T called me while I was there, and I could barely talk. He asked when I would return and I told him roughly when I thought I might return but I wasn't sure. So, when I didn't make it home at the time I said very late last night (I didn't know I was held to it) he had already called my husband, was getting ready to get on the road to look for me and call 911. Luckily, I had heard my cell phone ring as I was driving but just didn't answer for safety reasons. I returned his call, but he had already put these wheels in motion in less than 10 minutes after just one attempt to reach me. He said that I had no idea how bad I sounded, and that he was alarmed because he knew I was upset with him and afraid I wouldn't use him as a safety net. He said, "I'm so relieved you called. I was about to become stalker therapist."
I don't know, I guess he overreacted but then again maybe not. Maybe I am not seeing how badly I am presenting right now.
At work today, I found out I'm being audited and got a summons to appear in court for one of my former students in trouble.
Everything is just so bleak.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:470399
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471756.html