Posted by pinkeye on March 15, 2005, at 15:04:10
In reply to Re: Well, there's another thesis. Out the window. » pinkeye, posted by Susan47 on March 15, 2005, at 14:40:07
Ok, once again, your post is way over my head, but I will reply to whatever t*t bits of it I can understand.
First all this wisdom is something I picked up from my therapist :-). And I do think he would perhaps have liked me to a good extent. Atleast if he knew what I have grown into this past 4 - 5 weeks. Maybe not too much, or not in the ways I wanted, but now I honestly think he didn't dislike me ever. And if he did, it would have been a mistake on his part. Atleast in the past couple of weeks that is what I am realizing. I think lot of it was just my own sense of not liking myself that I projected on to him - because in the past 4 - 5 weeks, I have changed in ways I never believed myself to be possible. I have just got this wisdom as you said, I am realizing it myself, and now I am trying to use it for constructive purposes which before I used all the insight only to ruminate and get depressed. Maybe that is why I didn't like myself at that time, and I projected it onto my therapist as well and thought that he didn't like me. Now that I like myself, I think he likes me too. See how your own perception of yourself plays so much role in the way you look at the world and the world looks at you?
That is what happens to happiness also.. For some reason, when we go through traumas and negative things in childhood, we start reflecting the same thing in our lives - and seek pain and negativeness ourselves. Maybe that is the way our brain is wired - to reflect what it sees. But once you stop that and change it and start grabbing onto happiness, automatically the world starts reflecting happiness back onto you.
I don't know if I am making too much of sense here.
> Yes, absolutely, you have so much wisdom, it seems to me, It just seems impossible what you're saying about anybody not liking you in real life, like that therapist who was a friend, right? Or am I just getting that perception, that you feel misunderstood? Or is that all ME talking? Or is it you pinkeye? I'm so confused, my head's spinning because there're too many ideas in there right now, and there was something else I feel is true but I have to find the right post to refer to, because I'm afraid if I don't follow the thought through to the end, here, then I'll lose the concept and won't be able to apply it I need to heal, I want to heal so badly. There's so much beauty in the world, and I missed it so much for so many years, I've got a taste of happiness and I want it forever ....
poster:pinkeye
thread:469529
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/471372.html