Posted by Skittles on March 13, 2005, at 12:18:36
In reply to Re: The Phone Call (Dinah and everyone) » Skittles, posted by Dinah on March 13, 2005, at 12:00:15
When I quit on Thursday, I *did* mean it (though there certainly wasn't a lot of thought involved). I had every intention of following through. I called her back Friday for two reasons. First, I needed to apologize to her for *how* I did it. I didn't show her the respect I feel for her. Second, I wanted one session so that I could tell her how I felt and how hurt I was.
It was in talking to her on the phone that I realized what had happened, that it was a horrible misunderstanding. I so wish I had understood Thurday what she had inferred from our conversation the day before. If I had, everything would have made perfect sense and I would have felt so respected and cared for - even though she did get it wrong. Because her actions were actually very kind and sensitive in light of what she *thought* I meant.
We did talk Friday a week ago about the feelings my mother's illness had brought for me, but didn't at all this past week. I wasn't able to bring that up on the phone - there wasn't a lot of time and I wasn't thinking too clearly. I wish I had a muse to sit on my shoulder who would whisper to me the right things to say at exactly the right moment. But you're right, I do need to open up a lot more to her. There is a *lot* I hold back and I'm not exactly sure why. I want her to help me, but at the same time I think maybe I always need to feel like I can handle things on my own.
poster:Skittles
thread:469454
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/470431.html