Posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 23:24:34
In reply to Re: Freud anyone?, posted by daisym on February 16, 2005, at 23:10:53
If I really think about it, I realize that it comes from the fear and anxiety I would experience when my father would go into a rage. So, as long as I don't say or do anything to upset anyone, everything remains peaceful.
> We've spent some time on anger and aggressive urges. I can barely tolerate the discussions. I shut down, like you described. My therapist pushed the subject once, telling me that I let my husband hold "all" the anger and I refused to feel any of it. He said this isn't uncommon for people who have had bad experiences with angry people. His opinion was that I was afraid of my aggressive feelings because I was afraid they would get out of control and hurt someone (him?).
> This is a very hard subject for me to think about. It isn't that I don't get angry, I just get flash anger and then it is gone. And I always feel bad. I used to say "anger is a waste of energy - it solves nothing." Of course my therapist's response is, "it is a legitimate feeling, not everything has to have a productive use -- does it?"
> Ummm...doesn't it?
> So, have you been able to figure out why this was so hard for you?