Posted by LG04 on December 22, 2004, at 19:48:04
In reply to Would love to hear others' experiences.., posted by Pfinstegg on December 22, 2004, at 18:41:53
i also have different ego states that have different reactions to my (former) therapist at different times. i have a very challenging teenage part that got mad at her often. also one of my kid parts either loved her so much or would feel like she hates her. different parts trust her more at different times as well. the adult me is very securely attached and loves her very much and trusts her more than any other part.
i brought all those parts to therapy and nothing was ever wrecked. once in a while i would preface something by saying, "not all of me feels this way but this one voice in me says...." b/c i'd worry about hurting her feelings. but sometimes i'd just be furious and let it out, i'd go for sessions at a time feeling so angry at her that was totally transference and not related to something in real life that she did.
she handled it very well, while it was hard on me b/c i wanted to feel close to her. but i think it was important to work thru those feelings, to learn about myself and how i feel about the things that happened to me, how i react to certain triggers (like separation for instance her vacations), and maybe most of all to have a place to get really mad and a person to get mad at and to see that it doesn't destroy a relationship. that i can still be loved and accepted even when i am angry. i won't get punished and i won't be abused for it and i won't get the silent treatment and in fact, she'd even ask me to tell her more about my anger! nothing could have been more different than what i experienced as a kid (and still with my mom). i never had that experience as i wasn't allowed to be angry or distrustful growing up (and boy did i have a lot to be angry about).
i learned so much about anger in relationships and anger/distrust within my self and i think i handle anger in a much more healthy way now.
so i'd say, not only did it not wreck therapy but it enhanced therapy and i feel/felt a lot closer to her i think b/c she accepted all those voices and never abandoned me emotionally due to any of them. she was steadfast in her love and caring for me no matter what parts came out. that's a pretty amazing feeling.
LG04
poster:LG04
thread:433059
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/433081.html