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Re: Can I give her another CD? » crushedout

Posted by fallsfall on December 20, 2004, at 15:32:31

In reply to Re: Can I give her another CD? » crushedout, posted by crushedout on December 20, 2004, at 8:58:43

I'm glad it made you laugh. As I was out and about doing Xmas shopping etc. I thought that may be my response was a bit terse......... And I was worried that I might upset you.

I think Joslynn put it nicely. You need to close down this relationship (as painful as that is). Giving her a CD would send her a message (what message would it send??), and then she would respond, and you would have to respond to her response, etc.

You can't make a rational decision about the true state of your relationship with her while you are ... [what word to put here??] ... Still in the middle of the relationship (?). You need some distance to see the relationship more realistically.

I used to drive past my old therapist's office (it WAS a legitimate way to get to where I was going frequently...) and look to see if her lights were on. I guess I tried to accept that I missed her and that I needed her, but that I had to stay away. It still affects me to see her (1 1/2 years later), and we've only said 2 sentances to each other since I left.

My *need* for her came in waves, I had to hold my breath until the wave passed. Talk to your new therapist about missing your old one (you are still seeing the new one, right? Have you decided what to do for the long term?). Post about how much you miss her, but try really hard not to contact her.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I'm sorry that I can't say what you do want to hear. But (as my therapist said today), I'm honest to a fault...

(((Crushed)))

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:431939
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041218/msgs/432112.html