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Re: confessional confusion

Posted by messadivoce on December 14, 2004, at 0:54:27

In reply to confessional confusion, posted by fluffycat on December 13, 2004, at 23:02:09

Hi,

It's nice to see you posting. Well I'm no expert in this whole thing, but I've learned a lot from the kind souls on this board and I'm sure they will give you great advice. But since you've asked for an opinion, I'll give you mine to the best of my ability.

I can relate to the desire not to cross any boundaries. I think you did the right thing though, and were very brave in telling your feelings to your pdoc. Does he do therapy with your or just help with meds? Sorry I don't know much about pdocs.

At any rate, I don't think you've crossed a boundary at all. In my experience, feelings of attraction are the stuff that Ts and pdocs use in the therapy to help get to the core issues. I have my own long transference/attraction story with my former T and we dealt openly with my feelings for him. Your pdoc asking why you had the concern of boundary crossing says that he's not put off by your feelings and probably thinks they're natural.

As for what made him suspect, I really don't know. The best pdocs and Ts have a 6th sense about these things (mine did even though I was much like you--no skanky clothes, no personal questions, etc.). But what is important to remember is that the burden of keeping the relationship professional falls mostly on him, not you. You're just playing by the rules of therapy, that is, to disclose what you're feeling.

I'm glad you're seeing a T and I hope you can deal with what you're feeling with your T. I hope that they are able to help you with this. I would also reccomend an excellent book--a tried and true one--about this kind of thing. It's "In Session" by Deborah Lott. If you haven't already read it, I think you might find it helpful. My copy is dog-eared (and water damaged from leaving it on the bathroom floor and then the shower leaked).

Okay, please let us know how you are doing, and you'll be in my thoughts for sure.
Voce


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poster:messadivoce thread:429221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041210/msgs/429269.html