Posted by shrinking violet on November 26, 2004, at 21:12:55
In reply to Re: My T drove by MY apartment.... » shrinking violet, posted by BigFish on November 26, 2004, at 20:46:47
Hi Big Fish,
Thank you for responding.
>>It's hard to know exactly why she did that but there are a few likely possibilities: she's concerned about the quality of your living arrangement, she's just plain curious, and/or she's trying to let you know that it's ok to be curious about her [since she has indicated her curiosity about you]. I think that it makes plain that you are on her mind and that she cares about you.
-- Hm, you're probably right, thank you for those possibilities. Any of them would be nice, although I'm still not sure why she told me about it. And yes, my T tells me openly that she cares about me and thinks of me a lot, and she has gone to great lengths in proving that she does (just today in fact), so I'm sure that's part of it as well. She does self-disclose (apparently more with me than with other clients, or so she says, but who knows), and I'm actually somewhat surprised at some of the things she shares with me, and I'm fairly confident that if I asked her anything about herself she'd most likely respond, unless it was overtly intruding, which I would never do. There are some things I've been curious to ask her, but I'm waiting for the "right time" to do so.
>>Have you ever done a "drive-by?" I was contemplating the times that I have done "drive-bys." It's only been when I have had a crush on a guy that I've done that, wanting to see where he lived.
--I hate to admit it, but yes, I've driven by. The first time was out of curiosity of course. She has described parts of her home to me before, so when I saw it it was like "Oh that's the farm, and that's the deck! etc), and it was nice to finally have a concrete picture to put with the descriptions. I still drive by, especially now that I live literally two minutes from her, so it's hard to resist the temptation. Recently I've noticed a car parked toward the back of her house from time to time, and I'm driving myself nuts trying to figure out who the car belongs to. *sigh* Part of me doesn't want to know, though, b/c if I find out she has some "secret life" that she didnt share with me, I'd be crushed. And part of me feels guilty because it's really none of my business. But I digress....(sorry, once I get going...lol). I'm not sure why I still go by her house now; I live close to her so it's hard NOT to do there, but maybe it helps me feel like she's really there and helps solidify that connection to her especially during the days I may not have direct contact with her.
>> I myself have a strange T incident that I don't know what to make of, that I would like help with, but if I write it here I'm afraid my T will know it's me because it is so unusual! Argh!
--Well I'd LOVE to hear the incident, and I'd hope that I would have some feedback to offer, but of course you need to feel comfortable to post it. Do you have any evidence that your T reads this board? I am always so afraid that my T will come across this board (or already reads it) an then of course she'd immediately recognize herself and me as well, which would be devastating, not to mention fearing her reaction. But then I try to realize that she probably has better things to do at work than browse the Internet for therapy message boards, and I don't think she has a computer at home (she's told me she doesn't, but lately she's said a couple of things that make me wonder otherwise, so I'm not sure, but she seems like she has better things to do than glue herself to a computer all weekend). Think about it a bit and try to see if you can figure out whether your fear is rational or irrational, and then maybe you'll feel safer to post your incident. In the meantime, take care, and thanks again for the feedback.
SV
poster:shrinking violet
thread:420634
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/420687.html