Posted by lookdownfish on September 20, 2004, at 5:35:21
In reply to Abandonded but not forgotten » lookdownfish, posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2004, at 16:43:13
Rod,
I see why you are hurt by this. But I also understand why Lucy responded how she did.
I think your post came across as saying that one could just make a decision one day to be rid of distracting fantasies. If it was that easy, then that would be great. But people like Lucy (and myself) would not be spending hours in therapy/analysis if we could just decide one day to stop the fantasy. I think it is just not that easy for most people. That is why I think your post could be perceived as belittling the problem, and therefore upsetting. If this was was a message board for headache sufferers, and someone posted that they no longer had headaches because they decided that they were better off without them, then that would be unhelpful and upsetting for the other headache sufferers. I see you were trying to contribute to the discussion, but I feel it could have been phrased more empathetically.
All the best
ldf
poster:lookdownfish
thread:392271
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040918/msgs/392864.html