Posted by tabitha on July 15, 2004, at 1:13:21
Another week, another emotional upheaval over therapy. The group session was rough. I told them more about how I've been reacting to the group, without my usual 'trying to say the right things and fit in' mode. They didn't seem to understand at all, and they didn't seem to want to understand. They seemed to be trying to shape it as some kind of problem with me. Which is pretty much what I anticipated. I have to admit though, their understanding was even less than I'd hoped for. It was like I was speaking Swahili or something. Yet I thought I did a decent job of stating it.
One guy said the worst thing. He said 'What I hear you saying is that you just don't want to go through any pain.' Boy that irked. All the pain I've gone through with this, and before that in individual therapy. I wasn't even ready to quit until I'm at the lowest functioning and mood in years, and my relationship with my T seems ruined beyond repair. Just huge pain, and I've stuck it out week after week. And I had just explained all that to them.
I'm mad at my T again, since she said things in group that made her seem 2-faced to me, compared to what she says in my sessions. And I'm mad that I didn't even get any understanding from her until I was suicidal and ready to quit therapy. Is that what it takes now?
poster:tabitha
thread:366359
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040703/msgs/366359.html