Posted by karen_kay on April 23, 2004, at 19:01:11
In reply to Re: wait, you mean i'm not all better? » karen_kay, posted by Dinah on April 21, 2004, at 23:28:01
well, i can see your point. and i realize that there are certain things that i'm avoiding at this point. but, it's not that i'm necessarily avoiding them, per se, it's jsut that i know i don't have time to really delve into them. so, does that mean i'm avoiding, or am i playing it smart?
if i begin the process (yet again) of talking about such issues, then i run the risk (yet again) of running out of time. and i really don't want that to happen (yet again). so, i think i'd rather play it smart and go with the group. i really don't want to run the risk of opening up, trying to heal this issue, and then not resolving it once and for all. i know, third time's a charm but i don't want to try my luck.
i just remember how extremely painful the nightmares were, and i finally got them to stop. and i remember how painful the flashback was, and i don't want to go back there jsut yet, not without confidence that i can and will get this finally resolved. and i have a feeling that a year jsut won't do it. so, i'd rather put it on hold and wait it out until after school. sorry, i know y ou didn't really ask specifically, but i jsut wanted you to know that i'm not just avoiding it, i just don't want to do it until i'm confident it will finally be finished. and i don't have to take another break to find another therapist and have to start all over again. it's extremely painful, and i'm not willing to put myself through it.
i will address issues that i worry about, like dying young, and children, ect. i'll be an active participant in the group. but, i also realize that i'm there to help the group as well. that i'm a very important member, as they don't challenge eachother. and i do. so, i suppose it's a win-win situation for all?
i'd prefer individual, but i now that it'd take me nearly 4 months to warmup to a new therapist, asssuming i found a good fit. and time is short for me here. and then, what if they really wanted to focus on my past? and i didn't? whewww... this is getting to be a hassle.
poster:karen_kay
thread:338201
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339323.html