Posted by 64Bowtie on April 12, 2004, at 16:00:14
In reply to Re: When diagnosis is our identity » 64Bowtie, posted by pegasus on April 11, 2004, at 15:53:25
Pegasus, Thanx for the response.
I can never be a child again. I accept that. But, whoa! I was never told about my advanced adult skills, abilities, and the need to perfect them for a life seeking goodness, truth, and beauty, would be full of beautiful outcomes.
I have friends now. They have friends. We accept that we may never feel love, rather only unconditional-approval from and for each other. To date, we all rejoice that we share the load of living between our feelings and our logic in our daily adult lives. We marry our abilities rooted in feelings with our skills abilities, and attributes of adulthood, and life becomes "awesome"!
Example: Did you know that fear freezes your feet so you won't move out of the way of approaching danger? That is fear of the approaching danger. We have a taboo (belief with ancient purpose) to believe our gut at the sight of danger. Holding on tightly to this notion, gritting your teeth, and not accepting a better way, seems the best you can do.
As an adult, the approaching truck squishes us, like the frog in the video game. Whereas, noting and exercizing our options, as an adult, we leap in a safe direction and a safe distance out of the way of the truck. If we are too old, we can actually jump better as a child...... but we won't!!!!! We have a taboo to honor, containing a promise that we will die if we dare move a muscle!!!
First, learn self-respect thoroughly, then learn to respect others; people, places, things, ideas. Learn and practice respect for dangers, in youth only be able to fear.
As children, we become angry and confused when we find out there is no Santa Claus. Some actually start trusting their parents from that point, leading to total disregard for authority by age 12 or thirteen.
...just because of Santa? (Rod must be as crazy as a Loon). Not so fast. You've all seen it. Ya' just couldn't make sense out of it. Here's the deal...
Our parents injunct us with insipiant tools to keep us alive; should's and don'ts. Not a big deal. They seem big when you don't understand why you got clubbed for violating one. Rejoice! That's bad parenting. You don't have to grow up to be one like that. But alas, you do grow up!
Now, when that punishing-parent violates a family taboo and gets caught, our don'ts turn into should's as powerless children, and that parent is forever scarred in our little eyes, not to be trusted. When my Dad got caught cheating on my long-suffering Mom with an "ugly and stupid" customer lady, he was [*&^%#] now in my eyes!!! I would never listen to him ever again. That was 40 years ago.
The other day he said, "You can never get anyone to change by suggestion." I said, "Thanx. I'm gonna get a lot of mileage out of that quote". ...and today I did get mileage out of it, here at Babble.
Something happened to me in the last 40 years, because I don't feel compelled to bring in any feelings that I carried tightly held. There was joy that he had helped me think.
I'll never go back... nor miss... childhood.
Rod
poster:64Bowtie
thread:335038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/335623.html