Posted by skeptic on April 11, 2004, at 20:29:55
In reply to Re: When diagnosis becomes identity » skeptic, posted by fallsfall on April 10, 2004, at 21:42:42
It's kind of funny. Your pattern of building your life around your diagnosis reminds me of an old pattern of mine---only that I used to build elaborate lives---activities, friends, and all---around romantic partners that weren't particularly interested in me. I won't get into the particular psychodynamics of why I built my dreams around these people, but suffice it to say that I think it is a natural human tendency to seek the answers that we're looking for outside of ourselves, and that this particular pattern (or theme, if you will) is a fairly common one in human behavior. Often, though, it can become a problematic one, especially when you couple it with the intense energy that many of us bipolar/hyperthymic folk have. (And, based on my extensive research into my diagnosis, I'm of the belief that many in therapy are more "bipolar" than depressed---I think we merely complain more about the depressed part.)
Ruts are DEFINITELY not fun, but I believe that people CAN learn to change. At the very least, we can re-channel our energies and dreams towards more propitious goals. Especially if we force ourselves (no matter how hard it can be) to learn new skills and/or take a risk that we've never taken before.
> My diagnosis IS my identity. And I've built a whole life around it. All of my activities and friends are related to mental illness. My therapist keeps telling me that I have created quite an elaborate life around being depressed. And he's right. But I've been disabled from work for 7 of the last 9 years. I guess I don't really see how I could have done it differently (my previous therapist told me to create a support network - I did, it just contains only people who are also mentally ill...).
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> It has been suggested that my therapist might not be complaining about my "life", simply pointing it out because if I am going to get better a lot of my "life" will have to change. It still sounds like a complaint to me.
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> When he asks why I don't do things with "healthier" people I tell him (honestly) that I don't have anything to talk to them about - because I don't have a life. And I can't get a life because I never get out of my little mental illness circle.
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> I LIKE my friends. But, no, I don't want to be disabled forever (or even for much longer). But I am stuck in this rut, and it just isn't so easy to get out.
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poster:skeptic
thread:335038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/335327.html