Posted by platinumbride on April 12, 2004, at 14:11:12
In reply to How could T/transference, posted by terrics on April 11, 2004, at 11:53:09
Terrics,
I am relatively new to this forum and haven't read your previous posts, but I kind of question your T's own emotional stability in bringing that up.
I have learned the hard way that a bit of professional distance is (sigh) a good thing. It keeps things a bit objective, and isn't that one of the reasons we are seeking the help of a T in the first place?
Try as I might, I just can't see that as ethical - what she said, this female to a male client. I think the red flag you are seeing is justified.
I had a therapist once who really blurred the boundaries all the time but didn't see that she was doing so. She would tell me waaaaaaaaay too many things about her personal life. She made me feel as if we were buddies, when of course we were not. She even stunted my way of comunicating because my use of profanity made her uncomfortable, and didn't her feelings count for anything here? Ultimately, our sessions which often stretched beyond the alloted 1 hour, turned into me listening to her problems and anxities! If I had it to do over again I swear I would nip it in the bud, end the relationship and find another, more professional person to deal with. Instead, I stayed with her and wound up feeling all neurotic about her and her professional deprtment. When I brought it up she became defensive and had a thousand excuses and defenses, which led to her repeatedly reminding me that SHE was the one in control; that I was the totally messed up client. Her finest hour was when she let me know that she could crush me if she wanted to.
I'm sorry that this got to be a little "me, me, me! this is all about me!!!" here. But what I mean to say (after my own personal tangent) is that unprofessional deportment initially made me feel special and like I really had it together. It made me feel like I was her "most favorite-test" client. But in the end that special feeling became the breeding ground for something unconscionable - the great moment where she took back her "power". I sort of see what you wrote about becoming a similarly uncomfortable and damaging situation. Maybe this post is too subjective, but even if it is, it is well-intentioned.
I hope this is helpful. I just can't see any good coming from statements such as the one you mentioned in this thread.
Diane
poster:platinumbride
thread:335182
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040409/msgs/335589.html