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Re: Clever-itis... Dinah

Posted by 64Bowtie on March 13, 2004, at 11:13:23

In reply to Re: Therapy and the feelings conundrum 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2004, at 20:01:41

>>> When I lived by logic and reason, I was clever. But I wasn't wise. I could be happy and interested, but I couldn't be truly attached to others, truly alive, truly happy. I could feel misery, but not excrutiating pain.

(((Dinah))), how are doing???

Glad you brought this up. Most of us are tricked by our eyesight, until we decide not to be. When I was living "through" my feelings, a normal practice in childhood but significantly destructive in my adulthood, my eyesight was biased toward seeing what fealt OK as being good and whatever fealt bad was to be avoided. I was even certain that I was using logic. Wrongo!

I now know the difference between problem solving with feelings and problem solving with logic. Sad that I was an honor math student in a private high school and still didn't get it!!! But I was a problem solving star, and very clever to boot. Cleverness is more easily understood when seen as problem solving with feelings.

Since I had layer after layer of dysfunction from both parent families, I couldn't see any differences that I needed to see. There was way toooo much "swamp" in my way. Cleverness helped me lie and otherwise avoid punishment. I still decided to lie even though it didn't feel like I was wrong in the first place, alot! Now that was clever decision making.

You say you are not cutting anymore. The decision to cut or not to cut was not a decision involving any logic. It was a "feeling decision". How did it work out to cut? Sometimes feeling decisions don't work out, no matter how clever we feel we are.

(((Dinah))), I am four-square standing side-by-side with you against the storm. So please let me know if I irritate.





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