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Re: Clever-itis... Dinah

Posted by 64Bowtie on March 13, 2004, at 11:13:23

In reply to Re: Therapy and the feelings conundrum 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on March 12, 2004, at 20:01:41

>>> When I lived by logic and reason, I was clever. But I wasn't wise. I could be happy and interested, but I couldn't be truly attached to others, truly alive, truly happy. I could feel misery, but not excrutiating pain.
>

(((Dinah))), how are doing???

<<<
Glad you brought this up. Most of us are tricked by our eyesight, until we decide not to be. When I was living "through" my feelings, a normal practice in childhood but significantly destructive in my adulthood, my eyesight was biased toward seeing what fealt OK as being good and whatever fealt bad was to be avoided. I was even certain that I was using logic. Wrongo!

I now know the difference between problem solving with feelings and problem solving with logic. Sad that I was an honor math student in a private high school and still didn't get it!!! But I was a problem solving star, and very clever to boot. Cleverness is more easily understood when seen as problem solving with feelings.

Since I had layer after layer of dysfunction from both parent families, I couldn't see any differences that I needed to see. There was way toooo much "swamp" in my way. Cleverness helped me lie and otherwise avoid punishment. I still decided to lie even though it didn't feel like I was wrong in the first place, alot! Now that was clever decision making.

You say you are not cutting anymore. The decision to cut or not to cut was not a decision involving any logic. It was a "feeling decision". How did it work out to cut? Sometimes feeling decisions don't work out, no matter how clever we feel we are.

(((Dinah))), I am four-square standing side-by-side with you against the storm. So please let me know if I irritate.

Rod


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poster:64Bowtie thread:323619
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040313/msgs/323937.html