Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 14:25:44
In reply to Gardenergirl, may I ask a question?, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 12:50:04
Dinah,
I believe that therapists don't have to "like" you to effectively work with you. But I think that they do have to "care" about you - want good things for you, want you to be happier.
It is possible to want good things for someone who you disagree with about just about everything. You can think their view of the world is completely wrong, but still "care" about them.
The essence of the relationship is that the therapist will help you grow in a way that will make you happier. Sometimes they try to convince us that "their" way of growing would make us happier than "our" way of growing - and that is a fair discussion, but they have to be open enough to see that for US, "our" way really is better. And then they have to be willing to help us with "our" way - because we have the ultimate decision.
My therapist said once "I couldn't work with you if I didn't care about you". That doesn't mean that he likes me, or approves of what I do or think. It does mean that he wants to help make my life better. For me, I think that is enough. That he wants to help make my life better - and that he recognizes that the ultimate decisions are mine.
Is that enough for you?
poster:fallsfall
thread:320672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/320715.html