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Re: very, very sad KindGirl

Posted by crushedout on February 17, 2004, at 14:19:15

In reply to Re: very, very sad, posted by KindGirl on February 17, 2004, at 14:04:26

yes please, that sounds so nice. we could mommy each other. i will find that someday, i think. someone to mommy me who i can mommy, too.

i did take a nap and had really interesting dreams. one in which my t did cuddle me (and hold me and kiss me -- the only thing we didn't do is get completely naked and have sex) and then we went swimming together. it was really nice but i was scared she was going to realize she's was doing something wrong and then stop. in my dream i felt she couldn't resist my need.

i guess i needed to be cuddled by my t, so i went to sleep and dreamt about it. amazing, the unconscious, isn't it? then i dreamt i lost my cat. that's a recurring dream for me and i'm still trying to figure out what the heck it's supposed to mean.

i'm still pretty sad -- more depressed now, i guess. but a little bit better, maybe?

> Hi Crushed...
> Wanna come over and climb into my big king sized bed and cuddle? I want a mommy is the cry of my heart every waking moment of my life. I am in my 30's now and it seems to be getting worse the more I am in t. My t. is female and older than me and her nurture and care causes me to free fall inside is like a never ending pit that I fall into...and the days after t. are always worst.
> It is like a deep cleaning of a very deep wound and it DOES hurt. You are right on that one. It hurts so bad you wanna die.
> Today I wanted to climb in bed....and I fear like you that I won't get up ever again...the depression will take over and I will never leave.
> But maybe you DO need some rest...take a nap...take care of yourself...a bubble bath?...soft ice cream?
> Does it ever go away? I don't think so....and there are just days you want to die inside. I send love and prayers your way because I am there today myself. I am sorry you feel this way because I know it is hell. I hope it passes soon for you and for me.




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