Posted by Still Hurting on February 17, 2004, at 3:19:19
Hi Board,
for those who have been keeping up to date with my saga and to those traveling similar paths, well let me tell you the lastest upheaval to this drama; my ex-therapist is taking me to court so that I'll leave her alone.
To those that don't know the details, unfortunately last year my therapist gave me the surprising shocking news (over the phone) that she no longer wanted to be my therapist. This new came along with it that neither could I have any further contact with her whatsoever.
Obviously this news shattered my universe. For closure and understanding I've continued to contact her to no avail. I've asked her to met with me and another therapist, but she resists. I don't know how I became so obsessed over this woman. Past lovers and friends never came that close to the mental obsession I've struggled with over her. Maybe it's because I gave her so much of myself and trusted her to such an overwhelming degree. Actually, never in a million years would I have thought this woman would have hurt me because she saw the hurt and pain I was already experiencing and showed a sign of expression that she would never do the same. But she did.
Nevertheless, as I've been in this room many times, I've noticed that many of you too have struggled with similar issues as closure, attachment and transference with your past therapists, so although I can be private at times, because now I'm going to court I thought that to prevent many of you from tredding similar ground, I would advised you to get help. Some kind of help to break the attachment before it gets worse. Termination brought out the worse in me. And what made it worse was my inability to contact her for closure. I knew she felt threatened by me but termination only meant rejection and abandonment. She was the breath of life to me. She was the wings beneath my wings. I am mad at myself for giving her so much of my power. I don't know if therapy gave her all that power, my sick heart, or both.
Termination didn't deal with my attachment although I guess to her it did. Instead I would continously call her for understanding as to why and how she did what she did. And when I discovered her home info, I used it. From her point of view I understand why she perceives my behavior as threatening. Nevertheless, she avaded a crying client's pleas for help. She wouldn't help me close the door for whatever reason. She just ensured that I couldn't reach her although I knew how. She told her boss that a four minute conversation with me (over the phone might I add) was her polite way of granting me closure. She insists that because the 4 mins. call wasn't enough for me that proves I needed another therapist for closure. And crazy enough her boss bought into that.
How can two intellects not sit down together and close a door on a therapeutic relationship that went bad? Nontheless, I don't want to go into the whole drama.
All I came here to do today is to warn my fellow board members that with transference, attachment and closure to be extremely careful because I don't want any of you to travel into my similar sad paths which only lead into court proceedings.
poster:Still Hurting
thread:314477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/314477.html