Posted by Crooked Heart on February 10, 2004, at 4:34:28
In reply to One week later, posted by thewriteone on February 9, 2004, at 15:04:14
You've got such a lot happening at the moment, and I can see how your mother's visit might feel like the last thing you want. I could hardly think of my mother and my therapist 'in the same breath' because the contrast was so painful. (And it wasn't really that I blame my mother, I guess she did her best, and maybe if she'd been able to have a good therapist she'd have done a lot better.)
Your mother's coming to help you get ready for the baby, right? (Not something that mine would have done in a million years -- can we have a 'worst mother' competition? No, scrub that, there are things for which my kids would nominate me.) So maybe there will be little practical things that she may do for you?
Is your baby your mother's first grandchild? That can really shake things up. My sister had never been a motherly type as she said herself. She often seemed to be to be pretty cold and indifferent to her kids, right from the start. Anyhow when her first grandchild is born something happens to my sister and she just completely dotes on her grand-daughter who's now age 2. The one who never had time for kids has now started doing voluntary work helping children in her local elementary school.
Of course I'm not at all saying that anything like that will happen with your mother. Just that when the first baby comes everything might get thrown in the air and it might settle down differently from how it was before.
I don't know if any of this helps. I hope you got through yesterday evening OK. Please let us know how you are.
poster:Crooked Heart
thread:311334
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/311576.html