Posted by Karen_kay on February 9, 2004, at 11:32:04
In reply to Re: Is there an end to Transference and Feelings for T » Karen_kay, posted by CarrotCake on February 9, 2004, at 8:43:03
Well, the thing is that T are usually rather reserved in getting their own feelings involved during sessions, IMO, and I could be very wrong :) But, I think that bringing her own feelings (am I right aobut your therapist being a her??) into the session also revolves the session around her, which is counter productive to your healing. In my case, I talk aobut my therapist, Bubba all the time. But I have MAJOR trust issues. If that's the case with you, there may be little harm in bringing soem of her feelings into the session.
Now, to explain my jabber :)
If you want to know how she feels aobut you, ask!!! There is no harm in that... But, you may want to look at why you want to know.. Do you have a pattern of relying on others to prove your own self worth? (so very sorry if this hits as a bit harsh, I'm still a bit hypomanic at this point. But know, I do not in any way mean for this post to come across that way! PROMISE!!!)
The goal is to have a healthy attachment to your therapist. I'm still working on being a bit more needy, or at least admitting it to him. I keep him at arm's length for a reason.
You can still keep feelings for your therapist, but they don't have to be quite as damagining or as intense. They may not seem damaging now, but IMO (again, this is only my opinion) once you realize that your therapist can not be your friend, lover,mother father, ect it hurts and it hurts really bad. Once you get these feelings out in the open, your therapist can help you work through them. It didn't take much work on my part, it just naturally happpened as I kept discussing and cussing it :)
Ask your therapist how she feels about you. I kept pressing the matter asking Bubba if
I was his favorite client and he kept saying no,t hat the children he sees where and then finally one day he let it slip out that I was indeed one of his favorite clients. So,t hey don't always give you exactly what you want. It's more important to find out why you want it....Does any of this make sense????
poster:Karen_kay
thread:310426
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/311253.html