Posted by Penny on January 22, 2004, at 20:39:08
In reply to Crying/Emotions in T's office, posted by QuietHeart on January 22, 2004, at 20:03:54
There is no right or wrong way to show emotion in front of your therapist. For some people, crying is cathartic and helpful. For others, it's simply stressful and makes them uncomfortable. Either situation is okay.
What you should perhaps focus on, however, is making sure that you are working on becoming as comfortable as possible with your therapist, so if you felt like crying, you would be okay with it. You don't have to cry. But it would be good for you to feel comfortable enough with your T to do so if the occasion arose.
My former T used to hand me the box of tissues if I started crying, which, come to think of it, was pretty often! I sat on her couch, and there was no side table, so the tissues were not easily within my reach, and I often wondered if she did that on purpose, so she would have the opportunity to hand me the box. When she was very pregnant, right before her maternity leave, she still got up to hand me the box, and I apologized for not getting it first and she said, "I can still hand them to you. It's okay."
The tissues in my current T's office are right beside where I sit. When I cry, which isn't as often anymore, she gives me a look as if to say that she understands, without actually saying anything. And I know she does.
Some T's, so I've heard, might touch your arm or shoulder, depending, of course, on your comfort level and history (sexual abuse, etc.), and on where they sit in relation to where you sit. Physical contact is usually discouraged, but it still happens, and appropriate physical contact can be useful at times.
I think the key for you, and for all of us (since I've seen this so often on this board!), is to not worry about your T and how you appear to him or her - worry about how you feel inside. Whether you maintain a reserved manner or completely break down in front of your T, I can guarantee, unless you are one of his/her first patients ever, they've seen it before.
I think as you get more comfortable with your T you will be more 'yourself' - whatever that's like. Are you an emotional person otherwise, outside of therapy? Or are you typically more reserved, even with people you feel completely comfortable with?
P
poster:Penny
thread:304365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/304380.html