Posted by Karen_kay on January 14, 2004, at 16:21:28
In reply to Re: Ok Ladies, Listen UP!!!!, posted by crushedout on January 14, 2004, at 16:01:49
the fact that he basically said he would want to sleep with you under other circumstances, and then said not only should you feel free to call him, but that he *wants* you to call him. It sounds really over the line, actually.
***Wooooo! Slow down, Bessie! He didn't hint at the fact that he wanted to sleep with me. He didn't EVER refer to me. He only referred to clients. And didn't say anything about sleeping with them or even fantasizing about sleeping with them.
The reason he answered the questions is because I have REAL issues with sex. And even fantasizing aobut sex. I feel overwhelming guilt when I fantasize about people. And I have an aversion to sex. But, enough about me.
He never once said or implicated that he wanted to sleep with me or any other client. NEVER!
And the fact that he encouraged me to call him is not relevant to this matter. It has to do with the idea that I don't want to be needy. And I want to keep him at arm's length, much as I do with other men in my life. It has to do with trauma that I have suffered in the past. It was discussed earlier in the session, as well as after the "fantasy" conversation.Please don't interpret this post as nasty or mean in any way. I don't want it to come across as that way. I just want to sort of "set the record straight."
I could see how this conversation could be seen as a violation in boundaries to some. But I tend to be crass as well. And I like to have my questions answered. There is a good reaon for questions I ask, though sometimes it appears to be trivial. Much like the previous conversation I had with him where I told him I thought about him when I masturbate, it seemed maybe he crossed a boundary by giving me permission and saying it was consensual. But, I had my first orgasm. Maybe he isn't always conventional, but darn it I like him! And I don't have a crush on him anymore. So, he isn't feeding some fantasy that "maybe one day we'll be together."
I think he's doing alright! And I like him just fine. In fact, I like him a whole lot, and I told him so for the first time today :)
poster:Karen_kay
thread:300720
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300780.html