Posted by wendy b on January 14, 2004, at 13:04:44
In reply to New to therapy (and this board) need advice, posted by Asya on January 12, 2004, at 20:28:09
>> I guess I feel weird paying someone to listen to my problems -- it just feels odd and like emotional prostitution on the therapist's part. How to deal with this feeling?
I think this is something everybody feels at the beginning of therapy... Like - what? I shouldn't have to PAY somebody to listen to me pour out my feelings? Like: there should be somebody already here in my life who could do this, etc.? And of course, this in itself is a question many of us wonder about, too: where are all my friends or relatives who could listen and feel empathetic? Truthfully, there might not be any, and that in itself is a hard one to get over! A lot of us are truly lonely people, and we get very isolated in our illnesses. Ask anybody here...
Anyway, I think "emotional prostitution" is a bit of an exaggeration, and I don't really get what you mean - on the therapist's part? You mean you yourself are pouring out your feelings (giving sex) for money, but in fact it's you who are buying the "favor" of someone listening to you. Or is it that since he's the one getting paid, he's the prostitute and you're the customer? I guess I don't quite get it, but that's ok. I would think, if you told your therapist what you've said here, he might have some insights into how you're thinking, so he might be able to reassure you on these points. I guess if you thought he was ripping you off, by being too expensive or whatever, you might be harboring some resentment, and might not do as well in therapy, as when you could just accept the fact that the therapist gets paid for "advising" or helping you, just as an accountant, a lawyer, or another professional might get paid. He's got to make a living, too. He's doing a job and getting remunerated for it, just like you do for your work. It's fair, if you think about it.
I think it's a question a lot of people have early on in therapy, because they still have certain prejudices about the therapeutic relationship, and the goals of therapy. Once you decide you can put these aside, and it may take some time, I know, you will probably be in for a great experience. But also remember: if you don't like this guy, there are many others. Be open to shopping around... Taking charge of our own emotional well-being is itself a very great step forward, and I wish you well...
Wendy
poster:wendy b
thread:299995
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/300669.html