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Re: Thank yourself for hanging in there(long) » Kalamatianos

Posted by DaisyM on January 2, 2004, at 17:44:14

In reply to Thank yourself for hanging in there(long) » DaisyM, posted by Kalamatianos on January 2, 2004, at 0:40:30

I appreciate the encouragement and thanks for the color explanations. I'll have to think about that because my memories are clearly in color, like watching a movie but are still, at this point, mostly devoid of feeling.

As far as responsibilities and obligations, those are hard to seperate, aren't they? I get what you are saying about who you are, but what if you have been so "obligated" so long that you really "don't" know who you are? Without the obligations, I mean. And how do you recognize when readily accepted responsibilities begin turned into obligations?

I've been thinking about your concept of "enough" a lot the past few days. I'm beginning to hypothesize that there is a flip side to "not enough." I think you can be "too much" which can eventually become overwhelming. And once overwhelmed, there is a domino effect that results in complete collapse of your inner vision of yourself. That is when the "chuck it all and run" impulses come out. The other part of being "too much" is that you rely solely on yourself for inner emotional support...you don't "need" anyone else, nor will you allow anyone truly in.

You are content to be (emotionally) on this deserted island because you feel safe and you are surviving. Then, reserves go low or you get too many hits at the same time and the island alone in the middle of the storm is flooded and sinking. I think this is true for those of us who NEVER had self-esteem problems, who were confident in their abilities and who managed a fair amount of *success* however you wish to define that.

To have your vision of yourself dismantled propels you into crisis -- midlife or otherwise-- and you must then work your way back. Only back from an island is difficult, if not impossible. Especially if the storm is still raging.

So task #1 for me is to tie myself to a coconut tree so *I* don't get blown away in this storm I call my life and then figure out how to get off the island and navigate where I want to go. My Therapist has supplied the rope and is currently holding the umbrella, compass and the map. I want him to go get a helicopter!

 

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