Posted by DaisyM on December 8, 2003, at 20:30:19
I went to my appointment feeling so conflicted today -- tell the good stuff? tell the bad stuff? Part of me wanted him to see that I'm doing better. Part of me wanted him to know I've been falling apart since Friday.
I told him about both parts butI feel like I "babbled" my way through it. Some of these highly anxious painful feelings have risen again but without a specific trigger that I can find.
He wanted to know if it was because he had to cancel unexpectedly last week -- is that possible? I thought I had dealt with and put away many of these "needy" feelings -- could they be emerging as anxious now?
It was a painful session -- trying to give a voice to this sufficating anxiety that is free-floating again. I kept looking at my watch and he kept saying, "we have time, stay with it." He suggested next time he would help me "find these feelings, sink into them and identify what is behind them." He promised to be there with me. Why am I so terrified?
My homework is to answer the question of what could possible happen by allowing myself to completely feel these feelings? Answer: the "me" that is still "me" gets swallowed up or breaks apart...What if I'm not brave enough? :(
poster:DaisyM
thread:287845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/287845.html