Posted by DaisyM on December 4, 2003, at 22:49:34
In reply to I think I'm failing therapy, posted by Poet on December 4, 2003, at 20:39:18
Poet,
I think I know exactly what you mean. I too am questioning the value in revisiting very old events. I really regress and feel so out of control. For me, this is truly a reason to run from therapy. There is NOTHING worse for me than feeling out of control. My dreams have returned to falling -- which my Therapist has said represent about as out of control as you can get!
However, I must admit that when I ignore this inner turmoil, it may go quiet for a few weeks and then returns with a vengence. Either by feeling really really down, or weepy or anxious (most likely) or I get more and more unproductive. I didn't realize it at the time, but this underlying "stuff" is what the rest of my life is balanced on. And now, since there is so much to balance, it has exploded under the pressure, making a mess all over everything else. Essentially, I turn something over, and there it is again. Yuck!
I believe that if you must process this past event,you will be able to judge that because it won't leave you alone. The hardest part for me is admitting in therapy that "it" is back and being willing to go there, which is painful. If you don't feel this, then moving on is probably a good thing.
I am impressed that your Therapist is leaving it up to you. Mine does this too, but sometimes he slows me or changes the direction because I'm getting overwhelmed by fear.
I'm in that place right now of not knowing if I'm ready to go the next step or what the right next step is...but I'm not turning in my card and neither should you!
I agree with Dinah -- you were "perfectly" honest. Good for you!
poster:DaisyM
thread:286665
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286703.html