Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 3, 2003, at 14:52:18
So last week I confessed to my therapist (in writing) that I was experiencing major transference. It actually came about as we were going over a list of my worries. In response to each worry, I had to write out a rational response. Worry #14 read:
14. I will not get over my Transference (I worry Dr. P. feels uncomfortable about my transference. Perhaps he doesn't notice. O well, I guess he knows now! I worry maybe Dr. P. is a therapist who doesn't believe transference exists)
My rational response was :
Transference is natural, according to everything I have read and you will work through it. Dr. P. has been teaching/practicing for over 20 years, I'm sure he can handle transference or at least make sense of it and not be offended or scared.
I could tell he was slightly shocked after reading this - I really could have sworn he knew I had a crush on him. Anyway, we are doing CBT now and I think that is his forte. I did give him the Deborah Lott book which he says he has read. Upon reading my statement about my transference he said not to worry, that he had read the Lott book and that he was not scard or offended. He just didn't want it to get in the way of therapy. I assured him I had no desire to seduce him (so I lied, I Do want to seduce him but I only want to fantasize about that). The exchange was awkward and we moved on IN A HURRY to the next worry! I can tell he was sort of taken aback by this.
My problem is that I really want to talk about this. One of my goals in therapy is to get over my father figure fixation. My transferece is purely a Daddy-crush. I have read on this forum in particular that CBT therapists pretty much suck concerning transference. I keep envisioning however that maybe I'll be the one client of his to make him open his eyes and face up to the transference reality. After all, I can't be the ONLY female client of his to have a crush on him!
So I have an appointment tomorrow. How on earth can I re-open this topic without making him feel awkward or me embarassed? I thought I might open the session with a recent dream I had which is chock full of transference symbolism. Any thoughts?
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:286256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286256.html