Posted by Pharmer Boy on November 2, 2003, at 22:55:43
In reply to sexuality between us, posted by crushedout on November 1, 2003, at 15:05:56
> A few months ago, I posted about how I told my therapist about my "romantic" feelings toward her, and also about my envy of her daughter. She told me that she found me beautiful but she also made it clear that her job was to enforce certain boundaries. I never confronted her about why she told me she found me beautiful, and we haven't really discussed the issue (of my transference) much since.
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> But recently, as I was telling her about the sexuality present in all my relationships with people (outside of therapy), she remarked that we should probably talk more about the "sexuality between us." It was the end of the session so we didn't really discuss it then and I haven't dared to bring it up since.
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> I just wonder what she means by that. It seems like some kind of admission that on one level she's attracted to me, and that's really exciting, but I'm scared to discuss it with her because I don't want to be disappointed or hurt. I'm not sure why I'm writing about this. I just wondered if any of you had any feedback.
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> I should point out that I feel extremely confident in her abilities as a therapist and that she would never do anything unethical.
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>Take what she said as a compliment, but not as an admission of attraction. Since you have complete confidence in her ability as a therapist, realize that no matter what her feelings towards you, it would be unethical for her to act on them. For that reason, don't take rejection to mean that she doesn't like you, just use it to reinforce your view of her as a good therapist. Although its going to be hard, try to ask her for clarification about what she meant when she said she found you beautiful. I've also had romantic feelings for therapists, teachers and others I admire. The therapist-client relationship is a very important one where both of you are working together towards your personal progress. Even though it won't develop into a romantic situation, its still a very deep and significant bond for both parties.
poster:Pharmer Boy
thread:275544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/275940.html