Posted by kalyb on May 21, 2003, at 16:38:31
In reply to Re: Toxic friendships revisited? » kalyb, posted by fallsfall on May 21, 2003, at 12:09:59
Thanks, fallsfall!
> It certainly sounds like you are in a rough situation. It does sound like she is not helping you to move away from your depression. Having limited living options seems to be a real problem for you. You are in the UK? I don't know how others there have solved this problem, is there a social service program you can talk to who would know?
I can try to get myself on the council housing list, but I wouldn't be considered priority, meaning I might have to wait a long time.... a year or more! And much of their housing isn't great - it might be in a bad neighbourhood - council housing is roughly equivalent to "projects" in the USA from what I've seen across the pond.
>Could you move in with family?
Not an option, unfortunately. Apart from lack of space, my parents are on state old-age pensions, plus both have problems of their own - quite likely a root cause of mine! Bipolar father - Ativan-addicted mother and LOTS of past issues to deal with there.... :(
> Are there any Depression Support Groups in your area?
I don't know - neither my doctor or the pdoc mentioned any, but I'll ask. Sounds like it might be good if there are, although I don't have transport of my own and I'm 15 miles from the nearest large town/city.
> Have you talked to your therapist about what to do? How often do you see him?I've only recently started seeing a pdoc, and I'm at the mercy of the UK's national health system which is wonderful NOT. It took me 4 months from asking my doctor for referral to get to see this guy. I've seen him once, and he's given me Effexor and I won't see him any more frequently than once every 2 months. I have no therapist - I've just recieved a date for an initial assessment appointment but I've been told I may have to wait 1-2 years to get any therapy if I'm accepted. I fear I might not be, once in the past I tried all this before and was told I wasn't "bad" (i.e. sick) enough! Also, if I move out of the area I'd be back to square one and have to start all over again...
Private therapy or treatment is really out of the picture here. I barely have enough money to support myself on my disability, and I know I need treatment *before* I can think about getting a job.... and then, most jobs I could get wouldn't leave me much better off financially. I know I'm in a big poverty trap... it's not that unusual in this country.
> This is a tough issue, and I can see why you are upset. Somebody, somewhere has a solution for you.I'm sure they do, or I will find something. It's a matter of staying sane until that happens. Which, some days, feels impossible!! Thank you enormously for replying - at present I've no-one else to talk to. I did have some mutual friends with the friend I'm living with but I know she discusses me with them behind my back, and consequently they've now grown distant. I revealed to one of them how unhappy I was with the situation and it went straight back to her - she later accused me of "bitching" about her... which I wasn't... so I have actually been losing support... and being depressed in a small village I've not lived in for long, miles from the nearest city, with no transport, means I've not had much luck in making new friends.... Sad, isn't it? But my reality, and sometimes I wonder how on earth I could have ended up like this..... <sigh>
Kalyb xx
poster:kalyb
thread:227894
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/228127.html