Posted by sedona on April 16, 2003, at 1:18:05
Hello- I am facing a dilemma with my therapy. I have been seeing a therapist for about two years and it has been my first experience into the psychiatric world. I guess like any other relationship we have had ups and downs. There have been times when I have felt very grateful for her support and also many times when I have gone home in tears. I have thought of leaving several times. The point is that we don't communicate well. She is kind of clinical and cool, and I think I want someone who is a little more warm. From the very beginning she has told me that I am very resistant, on a couple of occassions she said that she felt ineffective, and most recently she said that when she thinks of me she thinks of impasse. So, I am very aware of the fact that she thinks I am a "difficult" client. I've tried to be more compliant, but I just don't agree with her all the time. Recently after almost two years of therapy after I made a half-serious remark about probably having characterological problems she decided to give me a personality test. One month later she had the results and she found that much to her surprise I showed a lot of Borderline traits according to the test. I know exactly what that means as I have read a lot about the personality disorders- because I am a hypochondriac when it come to psychological diagnosis. The Borderline diagnosis was always the one that I feared most so when I heard it I was shocked. We talked about it and the more we talked the more she thought that not only did I have the traits but also probably the disorder. I feel as though I have now been labelled and there is nothing I can do about it. I do not have most of the common behaviors/beliefs such as self mutilation, angry outbursts, splitting etc. So why did she decide this? Is it because she finds me so difficult that she feels compelled to label me? I am very angry about it and I don't really want to go back,(and I told her these things), and I'm sure from where she stands this looks exactly like Borderline behavior. So I'm caught in a cath-22 and I am not sure what I should do next. Has anybody else had an expereince with getting a diagnosis that you don't agree with? Any expereince with a Borderline disgnosis that they didn't agree with?
If you have read this you are a saint.
Thank you very much
poster:sedona
thread:219733
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/219733.html