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Re: Misdiagnosed?? » sedona

Posted by Dinah on April 16, 2003, at 3:52:54

In reply to Misdiagnosed??, posted by sedona on April 16, 2003, at 1:18:05

Hi Sedona,

I had pretty much the same experience. :(

I had been complaining to my pdoc that the meds were causing me to feel rather emotionless, and I didn't feel the feelings I thought I should towards loved ones. And he immediately replied that of course I didn't, I was schizotypal and therefore I wasn't capable of feeling the intense feelings I wished to feel. The thing was that I hadn't been seeing him that long, and if he had come to the conclusion that I was schizotypal, it had to have been because of what my therapist had told him. They worked together, and I know they had discussed me in the months that I was pregnant and or nursing and had refused to see the pdoc because I had refused to take meds, because this pdoc was a consultant to the clinic and because my therapist had mentioned what the pdoc had said about meds during those months.

I felt betrayed, and when I looked up the diagnosis, doubly betrayed. If that was what my therapist thought of me, I didn't want to be with him. I went to get a second opinion from someone who said that no, I didn't sound schizotypal, shizoid maybe. But he sent me back to my therapist to work through the issues. My current pdoc told me the same. That he didn't think I was schizotypal, just schizoid.

But it caused therapy to come to a halt for months, and set it back years, I think. I just couldn't get over that he had all these negative impressions of me, and hadn't even shared them.

And moreover, I was capable of those feelings because I had felt them in the past. It was severe postpartum depression that had kept me from feeling them.

Well, I did stay with him, and I'm glad now. For what it's worth he now says that he would no longer say I was flat and expressionless, that his conception of me had changed. He does still think I'm eccentric, have magical beliefs, etc. And... in the past, long ago, for the first five years or so, he did make comments about not being sure he could help me and impasses, althought he was never rude enough to say that I was resistant outright.

But I think our situations are different. My therapist is very warm although not too warm, and very receptive. Having been to a few therapists I would describe him as this: He stays in his own chair and doesn't envelop me, his personality doesn't pop out at me, but he is open and receptive where he sits. Which I know is an odd way of putting it, but hey, I do have my schizotypal traits. (grin) My point is that if you don't feel that this therapist can offer what you want, that her style isn't right for you, that alone may be reason to look around. Having been to psych testing myself (I'm a 2-7-8) and through a few pdoc interviews, I have a better idea what mental health professionals "feel" like than I once did, and I am happy with mine. (But as in any relationship we have our ups and downs.) If you aren't happy with yours, why don't you ask for a consultation? She's said she feels like you're at an impasse. That's reason enough for a consultation (and second opinion on the personality testing results).

 

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