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Follow-up from LibbyH

Posted by LibbyH on March 20, 2003, at 0:07:42

In reply to Ditto :-) please keep us posted (nm), posted by Krissy P on March 16, 2003, at 12:22:02

After a just a few hours at home, I wantd to go back to the hospital and I should have listened, but my pdoc talked me out of it. A week later, I tried and aborted a suicide attempt. My husband left for an overnight trip. I was supposed to pick up some things and follow him, but instead I started two cars in the garage and sat between the tailpipes of the cars writing my will. When I finished writing it, I looked it over and thought it was stupid because nobody was going ot care, so I turned off the cars, but continued sitting in the garage, huffing the fumes. I was almost asleep then the police and ambulance showed up. I opened the door for them but they took me to the hospital anyway. I told th staff doc that I had aborted the attempt because I didn't really want to die, but he said I had inhaled a good bit of carbon monoxide so he wanted to keep me overnight. I agreed. When I told my pdoc, he siad he didn't want to work with me anymore. Said he didn't know me as well as he thought he did and I am a liability to him for reasons of malpractice insurance. I've worked with this doc for 4-5 years. He's the only one who's helped me at all and now he's dumping me after already being dumped by my bipolar hubby, clinically depressed daughter, and being told by my Christian mother that I need to repent for whatever sins have brought this down on me... I lose the only man who has consistently had faith in me... my doc. I've gone from wanting to die to being afraid I'm going to die now. I'm still withdrawing from the old meds. the new ones haven't taken effect and/or aren't working. I'm totalyy lost. And I HAVE TOI go back to work soon unless I'm going on disability. My mom tells me if I go on disability, she won't help me do that. She says it's the lazy man's way out and it will make me give up and die. I'm going to the mountains witha firend to morrow, Maybe some time in the woods will help me see differently. I sure need to. ANyway, wish I had better news to report. Take care...




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