Posted by KrissyP on March 8, 2003, at 22:19:41
Hi, I have been posting on Psycho-Babble, but tonight and lately I think I need more like this board. I am so frustrated. I have been in and out of therapy, on meds, etc., but I have some HUGE issues right now. I moved back to live with my mom for the first time since 18-and I can't stop worrying about her. She does absolutely everything for everyone else-but not for her. She is smoking a lot (something I myself picked up just at 29) and I'm so scared for HER I am crying. I don't know what to do. I do A LOT for her, but I feel like it's not enough.
I am 32,like I said, a HUGE issue for me. My brother, 42, also lives here (he has a criminal history-but we get along good-even though I am allowing him to tell me things I don't want to hear even when I say "so you're gonna tell me anyway" to him and he still tells me-COMPLETELY ignores me) that took a lot of guts for me to just say that (the criminal record part) My mom does a lot for him, he has arthrogroposis and he seems so ungrateful at times. In the meantime, I am worrying and sticking my nose in my family's business simply because I care-but it's making me crazy. We have 2 dogs-1 of which is my puppy when I came back to live here whom we love dearly, but lately, especially the last few days it has been sooooooooooooo stressful. My brother is so angry and he only thinks about himself, but again, I love him and probably am his only friend. (There are reasons he lives in my mom's house at age 42)I hope I don't sound like a lunatic,it is just these feelings that have to stop. Why do I feel responsible for my mother's happiness??? I love her to death, but I can't go on like this. She is a big girl.
I feel as if I am the black sheep. I am so different from both my mom and my bro-and I am allowing myself to get weighed down by all that I feel. This is just a quick post, because I am really upset, I am going to see if a shower helps a little here.
Any feedback would be so much appreciated-I am so worried-I feel sick to my stomach.
I hope to talk with someone here before my night is through.
Thanks, Kristen
poster:KrissyP
thread:207253
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/207253.html