Posted by Pfinstegg on December 8, 2002, at 0:42:45
In reply to Emotional divorce, posted by Dinah on December 6, 2002, at 19:07:10
Hi Dinah- I looked up your old post- it was October 24th, and you were worried then that if anger surfaced in your relationship with your therapist that you would react, even though you tried your best not to, by detaching from him and ending the relationship. Is this happening now?
Can you see any way to avoid doing "the same old same old"? Are you seeing him at the right frequency for you? Sometimes if the therapy is too often or too intensive, it's just too hard to deal with- instead of taking the tiny steps- one or two forward and at least one back- which are all any of us is able to do, we can begin getting swept along on a tidal wave of feelings that we can't control or even understand. On the other hand, if you are not going often enough. it can be difficult to maintain the strength of your bond to him. Some people take "holidays" from therapy; sometimes when you do that and return, things have become a bit different inside, and you can take a few more of the little steps.
A final thought: you may never have had the experience of getting really angry at someone important, and having them not react with rage, or retaliate in some way. Whatever has happened in the past, you may feel that the anger is just going to annihilate all the loving feelings- and every important relationship- you have, or will have- that you will always react by becoming detached and emotionless. A big part of therapy,(I know you know this so well- I'm just reminding), is to take enough of a chance with your anger to give yourself an opportunity to learn how not to demolish a whole relationship because of it. And, remember, you have someone with you who understands you and the difficulty anger presents for you, and whose purpose is to help you learn to deal with it in a new way - your therapist. Before, there probably wasn't ever anyone who knew how to help.
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:1736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1761.html