Posted by Pfinstegg on December 7, 2002, at 22:25:47
In reply to Re: Emotional divorce, posted by freudiangarterbelt on December 7, 2002, at 17:40:54
I have been through exactly what you are describing in therapy- becoming sort of cold and detached, and just wanting to get out of there.
From what I remember, you seemed to have had a good working relationship with this therapist for several years, although I think you posted about a month ago that there were some things which were hard to talk to him about. Do you have a sense of what has brought you to wanting to "divorce" him? I'm just hazarding a guess here, but you may have reached the point in therapy where all of the original feelings towards your parents- the longing, rage, disappointment and sense of irreparable loss- are beginning to be a real part of the relationship you have with the therapist. Up until now, you may have had just one way to cope- to begin detaching and putting enough distance between you and the significant other person that these feelings subside to the manageable point.
Why not accept that you are going to feel cold and detached, and like running as fast as you can, as you begin trying to deal with these intensely painful feelings? Staying in therapy gives you a real chance to grow and become the kind of person who doesn't have to do any "divorcing" unless you decide to for healthy reasons- you'd be deciding, not have it just happen to you.
I'd like to second the thought of another recent poster- I've forgotten who- as I have also felt recently that you are growing in a way that I have been noticing and admiring. I don't think I would be able to put it in more exact words- but, are we both wrong??
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:1736
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1759.html