Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2002, at 19:52:04
In reply to Re: Has anyone successfully lost a therapist? » Dinah, posted by judy1 on November 9, 2002, at 18:42:46
Hi Judy,
I'm not going to blame the poor guy for telling me. :) He was trying hard to be truthful to a direct question by me. And he tried to be very careful about how to be truthful. And since part of the reason I trust him is that I know he does try to tell me the truth, I can't fault him for it. Besides, if there is even a possibility, I think it might be best to know, because I have a huge issue with fears of abandonment and his telling me at the last minute would probably be worse. I honestly don't think I'd use the transition time. I mean how do you, at that point, work with abandonment issues with the person that abandoned you. (OK I know that isn't fair, but feelings are feelings.)
And as to how I came to ask him straight out, well, I'm a difficult client. I pick up on things very easily but quite frequently misinterpret them. He was trying to correct what could have been a, well, an unfortunate misunderstanding on my part. And in the process aroused my suspicions (ever present I might add) that he would leave.
Poor guy. I really am quite difficult to have as a client, you know. Enormous abandonment fears, and still a bit of an issue with trust. Add a significant tendency to regress (or melt down or decompensate, whatever the right term would be), and he's got a really annoying client. Not that he would ever admit to that. He's really got a lot of stamina and patience.
Part of my fear is that it would be difficult to find another therapist who would put up with my nonsense. :( Not to mention being able to trust someone else after all of the work it took to trust this guy as much as I do.
poster:Dinah
thread:1493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1497.html