Posted by rayww on September 24, 2003, at 18:33:09
In reply to Re: The loss of dogs (long) » rayww, posted by Dinah on September 24, 2003, at 13:07:07
I'm going to tell you about it because it sent me spiraling into deep grief pits this morning, and I entered areas I wish I hadn't. I got thinking about my dad too, so grief is grief and it roots around. Grief is an interesting fellow. Even when grief is healthy and mature, it can still attack.
I was sitting around a family dinner table one day with a bunch of teens, who somehow got on the topic of "my favorite gross dead dog story". I listened as long as I was able, and then said, "OK, let me tell you my dead dog story".
Up north the flies can get really bad in late summer, so I go to great lengths to control them. (die fly!!) I had a fly trap outside my back basement door, a mixture of watermellon and fly bait. Somehow on one of my dear Fergie's walk-abouts she reached the bucket. An hour or so later I noticed I hadn't seen her in the yard, and I immediately suspected what had happened. Sure enough, to my horror, there she was, sprawled out on the cement pad at the bottom of the stairs.
The family was all around, and I didn't want the little ones to know, so I got a gunny sack and tried to put her in it. I went inside and asked my son to help me, but for some reason he didn't come right then and I wanted it taken care of immediately. My way of dealing with grief I guess. Bag it up and throw it away. She was so heavy, but I got her into the bag, and then I didn't know what to do with her, so I decided to take her to our house cemetery, the hole in the ground where we dumped the remains of our house after the housefire a couple of years earlier.
That was the end of the dead dog stories around the dinner table. Forever I bet.
I tried to replace her, but the new Basset wasn't able to breed like Fergie. I eventually sold her and my male. A fine specimen he was too. I still really miss them both. I was able to let go, not like my sister who dropped her kitty off at the animal shelter only to go back a few minutes later and pay $10.00 to take it home again.
I'm feeling all right now tonight. I frittered away much of my day, but I did visit my grandson with a birthday gift, and got the bills paid right in the nick of time before the mail was picked up. Thanks for asking. I really wasn't going to tell this "gross" story of how I poisoned my beloved Fergie.
I don't use that fly bait any more. I didn't know it was potent enough to kill a dog, and with all my little grandbabies around, I have stopped being so careless now.
poster:rayww
thread:262931
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20030903/msgs/263034.html