Posted by bulldog2 on June 20, 2010, at 13:25:57 [reposted on June 21, 2010, at 10:17:45 | original URL]
In reply to wording of pubic 'rephrasing requests' » Dr. Bob, posted by violette on June 20, 2010, at 11:05:49
> Bob,
>
> "Would anyone be willing to try to show bulldog how he might rephrase the above or to encourage him to apologize?"
>
> Is there anyway you could reword your phrases so that do not resemble parental shaming techniques?
>
> The technique you have been using here is similar to shaming done by families. Whether 'shaming' people into compliance with your version of civility is or is not your intentions, I'm triggered by the way you go about this. Some people who were repeatedly shamed as children end up shaming others as adults. Considering that, and the mental health effects caused by the shaming behavior of family memnbers, it does not seem appropriate for a mental health community. Even though these are not personally directed at me, I find the way this is done to be upsetting, offending, and it may be hurtful to community members who are sensitive to this type of behavior.
>
> shaming:
> 1 : to bring shame to : disgrace <shamed the family name>
> 2 : to put to shame by outdoing
> 3 : to cause to feel shame
> 4 : to force by causing to feel guilty <shamed into confessing>
>
> "Believing that making you ashamed would motivate you to behave as they wished (The demands of a dysfunctional shame-bound family are irrational and inconsistent, for the family only knows it is unhappy and does not know what would make things better. The child becomes the scapegoat for the family's incompetency in solving its problems-in-living.), your parents intended you to feel shame about yourself for your "bad" behavior. Sometimes, they even rationalized that shaming you was "for your own good."
>
> http://www.psychsight.com/ar-shame.htmlThank you for your support
poster:bulldog2
thread:951716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/951717.html