Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2009, at 22:42:55
In reply to Re: facing realities..., posted by HappyChaiTea on February 24, 2009, at 22:23:15
As far as I know there is absolutely no problem with doing what you just described.
The problem comes from the fact that people's perceptions differ as to what actually happened. And it's very easy to mix judgment into facts.
If I'm understanding you correctly, you're talking about stuff that happens off board spilling on board.
I agree with you that current rules are woefully inadequate in this, and that the result is that often remarks are made that leave posters who aren't "in" on off board issues very confused and uncomfortable.
There is certainly room to discuss the on board/off board problem. Should actions that involve Babble but did not occur on Babble be covered by civility guidelines? Is it better to allow the resulting disagreements to be discussed on babble in the hopes that a resolution can be reached? Or would it be better to ask posters who have an off board disagreement to work it out off board? Or would it be better to allow the discussions, but only with full fact disclosure?
For example, if one poster has a problem with another poster resulting from an off board disagreement, should babble policy be
a) to allow the one poster to speak of an issue with a "friend" who....
b) to ask posters to please not bring off board disagreements to the board?
c) to allow the poster to speak of the issue, as long as they follow babble rules, and as long as they disclose that the "friend" is a fellow babbler so that third parties won't accidentally be uncivil or drawn into a discussion that may involve two people they care about
And of course there are likely other possibilities.
If it is allowed to discuss it on board, should both parties be allowed to give their version of the facts so that the usual on board transparency would occur? What if the facts aren't just facts but interpretations and judgments?
I think this is a valid area for Admin discussion, although of course it's best to use hypotheticals.
And it is *always* ok for a poster to apologize to another for anything they think they need to apologize for.