Posted by gardenergirl on August 2, 2006, at 22:50:27
In reply to Re: Suggesting violence against women is humorous?, posted by gardenergirl on July 28, 2006, at 9:35:29
I cannot let this issue go without trying to express how I feel about the original post, subsequent posts, and this discussion. I’ve chosen to use what some, including myself, might consider crude language in order to be as clear and direct as I can be.
I felt deeply offended after reading the original post in this thread, particularly within the context of recent off-board communication (which I cannot share). I can say without hesitation that essentially I felt accused of being a c*cksucker—specifically, of being in a position where one might envision me performing that act on Dr. Bob. In unpacking my feelings about this, I find traces of humiliation, shame, and embarrassment in addition to anger and shock. Cognitively, I can delineate to myself what is and what is not “rational” and adaptive in my reaction, and this reframing serves to reduce the intensity of my emotional response to the post. But doing so does not negate the shock and anger, which comprise the bulk of my reaction.
I felt offended not only in response to the sexual overtones to the message, but also in response to the suggestion of violence. I was shocked and disturbed at the visual image I experienced when reading the post. I experienced renewed anger and outrage when reading that others found humorous what can be interpreted as a suggestion of violence against the deputies.
I support the section of the civility guidelines which asks that others not “treat injury or death lightly, [nor] suggest that others harm …themselves or others. I believe it adds to the perceived safety of this site, and that sense of safety facilitates the giving and receiving of support on the boards. I believe that all posters here deserve this respect, including deputies.
I understand and accept that volunteering as a deputy can increase the likelihood of hearing criticism and being disliked.
I cannot and will not accept abuse for having chosen to help out here. This is my boundary, and I will continue to work hard to maintain it.