Posted by JahL on July 25, 2006, at 13:04:28
In reply to Re: EVERYONE is welcome to post » Crazy Horse, posted by Phillipa on July 13, 2006, at 15:57:17
Can I add my tuppence worth?
Regarding the issue of posting frequency, I can sort of understand where the original poster is coming from, that some people apparently 'take' more than they 'give', but ultimately I have to disagree.
In many ways this discussion relates to my own situation - I rarely post anymore. So here it is from a personal perspective:
Last night, in a fit of boredom, I decided to trawl the archives. I came here in 2000 as an ill-informed, angry and confused young man. I was keen to learn about my condition and so in the beginning I was a 'taker'. But as my confidence grew, and my insight into mental illness improved, I began to proffer advice where appropriate. Looking back, I am confident that I contributed sufficiently to be 'allowed' to occasionally return when in need of help.
Anyway, what struck me about my old posts was how much less depressed I was back then. This meant I felt more sociable and was therefore more inclined to seek company. By contrast, I am now in a deep pit of suicidal depression and have lost all my sociable instincts. My point is, the current status of your illness can determine your posting behaviour.
Perceived ability also comes into it. I currently suffer from a 30-point deficit in my working IQ. This means, quite simply, I no longer have much confidence in any advice I might hand out - so why bother? I suppose one could argue that's responsible behaviour on my part.
Another factor in my case: Like many on this board I suffer from social phobia. Perhaps this explains the appeal of this essentially anonymous resource. Anyway, this means I am particularly sensitive to any form of criticism. Unfortunately, I am the archtypal angry young(ish) man, and thus I am prone to lashing out - sometimes viciously. Therefore I must actively avoid any form of confrontation *at all costs*; anger can utterly consume me. Getting 'involved' here is counterproductive for both myself and the board. So, at the first sign of trouble, I just walk away, until my anger subsides. Often this means I can't post for months on end: does this make me a 'bad' poster? I think it makes me a responsible poster, albeit one who is emotionally very twisted. There's also an element of self-preservation at work; if I get myself blocked, then when I *really* need help, I will be unable to ask for it.
Finally, there is the issue of familiarity. Whenever I decide to briefly return, I find the personnel has dramatically changed. This results in 'new kid' syndrome, whereby I have to make a real effort to acquaint myself with the new intake in order to re-establish myself. Quite simply, I cannot be bothered anymore. This is no reflection upon the current crop, rather it is a sign that I am just *too depressed* to make the effort.
Apologies for the length of this post, and its self-absorbed tone, but I thought that it's important to keep in mind that *illness status determines posting behaviour*, and perhaps personal case studies are a good way to reinforce this notion.
Please, I'm not looking for an argument with anyone - if that happens I outta here.
Sincerely,
Jah.
poster:JahL
thread:666806
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060622/msgs/670367.html