Posted by used2b on April 14, 2005, at 0:43:39
In reply to Re: I-statements...my shot at this, posted by Tabitha on April 14, 2005, at 0:23:30
> Or how about... "It's difficult for me to believe that people are expressing true affection when they post hug symbols."
That would be civil. Just as civil and even more specific could be ... "I understand you might be very sincere about this, but it's difficult for me to believe that people are expressing true affection when they post hug symbols."And even more detailed explanation could read... "I understand you, whose opinions, feelings and perspectives are just as valid as mine, might be very sincere about the use of emoticons on line, but it's very difficult if not impossible for me, whose opinion is different than yours and in no way any more valid, in fact it might be completely wrong, and my perspective might be clouded by childhood trauma, engrams, mind-altering medications, the toils of my day, and the sound of the television in the background, among other things, to believe or at least to accept as real and sincere that people such as yourself, who are probably very sincere and really are expressing true affection when you use emoticons or offer symbolic affection, are expressing true affection as I appreciate affection based entirely on my unique personal background, when they post hug symbols such as those you proposed but were so kind as to wait until I answered before you imposed on me affection that you were keen and kind enough to recognize, if only intuitively, that I might for some reason known only to me and not necessarily, in fact possibly not even likely to be coherent reasons, but instead based on the personal factors, real or hypothetical, that I have tried to explain in this one rather lengthy sentence, which by the way I appreciate you taking the time to read before you sent to me the hug you were so courteous to ask before sending without knowing if I wanted it."
But then, having considered the meaning contained in the above sentence, and having been trained that courteous writers use words economically when possible, I conveyed precisely the same meaning in a dozen simple words -- "To you it might be real, to me it is all pretense."
I don't mean this sarcastically at all. It's just that I've been offered several variations of the same sentence and they all convey the same meaning. You can add more words, you can use different words, but they say the same thing. I was scolded for being a skilled writer. And I was scolded for having an accurate academic recognition of how some scholars view the role of pretense in social behavior.
poster:used2b
thread:482520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050323/msgs/483998.html