Posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2004, at 1:20:35
In reply to Re: small town boards » Dr. Bob, posted by judy1 on February 10, 2004, at 18:25:03
> I find your responses often making me feel incomplete. When you answer a question with a question I feel very no validation at all, because I often feel that you are not understanding the point that the poster is trying to make.
>
> It feel that by simply answering with a question that you are avoiding the discussion - trying to diffuse the discussion by spreading out more ideas without tying anything back together. I guess I feel like I hear a lot of the possibilities that must be going on in your head, but I do not have a sense of how you see them tying together.
>
> fallsfallWell, sometimes it's true, I don't understand the point...
I think of asking questions as a way to promote discussion rather than to avoid it. It may spread out more ideas, and it may not be clear how they tie together, but these aren't always simple issues.
----
> I *think*/I *hope* that you really believe that the idea of 'small town boards' will be beneficial to the well being of many present and future posters to the board. That said, if you do, in fact, believe this ... then perhaps you need to post something a bit more detailed about how this is supposed to work.
What kinds of details do you mean?
> I must say that I, too, find it annoying when you respond to a question with a question and when you respond with an extremely brief answer that leaves many other questions and possible interpretations. That is a communication problem.
>
> PennySorry about that. If you have other questions, just ask...
----
> > The unofficial groups are available to everyone?
>
> That kind of sounds like "put up or shut up"No, I really just wasn't sure what you meant. Did you mean that the chat room is available to everyone? Or that people are free to form their own unofficial groups? Or actually that there's some listing of existing unofficial groups?
> I've felt guilty before over just finding friends for myself there and then leaving.
I don't think you need to feel guilty about that. Finding friends is great, and no one's obligated to stay.
But it's interesting that you leave, maybe you feel more comfortable is a less open setting? :-)
> > What's wrong with gated private communities? If everyone can join one if they want?
>
> I think the gated community analogy applies best to the "invitation only" boards which you are no longer suggesting.Maybe, but I don't know, that was Dinah's analogy...
> I see it more like being performers a stage set up to look like a small town than participating in an actual town. The point I was trying to make before is that the more you try to make it look like a small town the less likely your actors will realize that they are on a stage.
A stage in what way? Because others can watch?
> I got the impression that you were surprised at how strongly opposed some of us were to the invitation only plan. I think this brings back some nasty memories of childhood and adolescence and the way exclusion from the in group could be deliberately used to hurt someone.
>
> JaneI know it's not always easy to leave the past behind, but aren't people *here* usually pretty friendly? All of a sudden that would change?
----
> Does this idea of "gated communities" have something to do with your research. I mean, are you doing some experiment to see how all of us will react to these [new] boards?
You could think of it as trying to see if some people feel more comfortable with a different type of board, but I wouldn't consider it scientific research. And there's no hidden agenda.
> I think ... it would limit the amount of information that can be exchanged here.
>
> ElleBecause, for example, poster P from small town board A wouldn't be able to post on small town board B? That's true, but (1) P could post on an open board (where people from B could read and reply) and (2) people from B might feel more comfortable having their own board and post more there (where P could read but not reply).
----
> Do you have a strategic plan for Babble? One that includes a mission, values, and goals?
>
> gardenergirlThe mission is peer support and education? And the plan is to foster that by maintaining a supportive milieu? That probably doesn't count as "strategic"...
----
> > > perhaps it would help to have a poll
> >
> > The thing is, I think people who are here now are going to be relatively satisfied with the current system. Otherwise, they wouldn't be here now...
>
> actually, I was thinking there would be some support for your new boards and was interested in seeing how much. and as one poster wrote, a poll would give a sense of empowerment, at least a sense of feeling involved with your decision.Well, I think someone's more likely to be involved if they post here than if they just vote, but I take your point, let's give it a try:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-open/surveys?id=1178539
> when I feel particularly vulnerable I only post on PB2000, with complete faith that I won't be hurt by people I've interacted with for years. I think that is part of what you're trying to achieve with your new boards.
Right, the idea is for people to have a place they feel comfortable, connected, safe, etc.
> It pains me to see people so upset with the possibility of these changes. I truly hope they stay with their support systems they have created here, and wait to see what if any impact these changes have on them.
>
> judyChange is always hard here. I think feeling upset can be a sign that people like things the way they are, which of course is good. And they don't want to lose that.
But there's always room for improvement...
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:300134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/311930.html